Egypt & Exodus
FUCK YOU, PHARAOH.
WHAT WERE WE THINKING?
Lesson attemptedHave somewhere to go
Lesson learnedNo
Years elapsedForty
Distance coveredEleven days
Progress toward stopping thinking like a JewNone
THE LONG
ARGUMENT
Three thousand years.
Twenty chapters.
One instruction we keep failing.
CANAAN11 DAYS →
Start in Egypt, follow the wreckage, and watch the same argument survive every empire that thought it had ended it.
FUCK YOU, PHARAOH.
Sinai, Judges, the demand for a king
FUCK YOU, YOUR MAJESTY.
WHEN CAN YOU START?
Lesson attemptedLearn to live without a boss
Lesson learnedNo
Years mostly without a kingTwo hundred
Disputes settled in that timeOne. The stone moved back.
Progress toward stopping thinking like a JewNone
Exile, Cyrus & return
FUCK YOU, BABYLON.
WE TOOK IT WITH US.
Lessons attemptedOne
Lessons learnedNone
Temples destroyed1
Empires changed2
Countries lost1
Arguments lost0
Persian kings unexpectedly anointed1
Persian kings notified beforehand0
Hellenism & the Maccabees
FUCK YOU, ANTIOCHUS.
NOW WE’RE KINGS?
Lessons attemptedOne
Foreign king resistedOne
Temple restoredOne
Holiday createdOne
Dynasty createdOne
Kings acquiredUnfortunately
Steps completed toward not thinking like JewsNone
StatusFree, now with king
Essenes, Qumran & the Dead Sea Scrolls
FUCK YOU, EVERYBODY.
WE’LL BE IN THE CAVE.
Lessons attemptedOne
Lessons learnedNone
Jewish communities founded to escape other JewsOne
Rules writtenToo many
Calendars agreed uponZero
Messiahs requiredTwo
Arguments successfully escapedZero
Jesus, Rome & the Jewish revolts
FUCK YOU, ROME.
ALL OF YOU?
Lesson attemptedStop thinking like a Jew
Lesson learnedNo
Temples remaining0
Revolts against Rome2
Romevictorious
Argumentspreading
Unexpected convertRome
Yavneh, the rabbis, Mishnah & Talmud
FUCK YOU, GOD.
WE TOOK A VOTE.
Commandments inherited613
Commandments readapparently ten
Eggs eatenpending
Humanity approvedno
Divine interventions overruledone
Jews persuadeddon't be ridiculous
Christianity, Islam & the great Jewish export · September 14
FUCK YOU, EVERYBODY. GET YOUR OWN FOREFATHERS.
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
Crusades, massacres & blood libels · September 21
FUCK YOU, CRUSADERS. WE LIVE HERE.
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
Reason, Aristotle, heresy & Jewish book burning · September 28
FUCK YOU, MAIMONIDES. STOP THINKING.
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
Medieval expulsions · September 28
FUCK YOU, ENGLAND. FRANCE?
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
Spain, Inquisition & expulsion · October 5
FUCK YOU, FERDINAND. WHERE ARE WE GOING, PORTUGAL?
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
Eastern Europe & 1648 · October 12
FUCK YOU, COSSACKS. WE JUST GOT SETTLED.
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
Spinoza & the herem · October 19
FUCK YOU, AMSTERDAM. HE’S TWENTY-THREE.
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
Sabbatai Zevi & the false-messiah disaster · October 19
FUCK YOU, MESSIAH. YOU’RE MUSLIM NOW?
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
Emancipation & the Haskalah · October 19
FUCK YOU, GHETTO. WE’RE EUROPEANS NOW.
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
Dreyfus, Herzl & Zionism · October 19
FUCK YOU, FRANCE. APPARENTLY NOT.
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
Pogroms, conspiracy & modern antisemitism · October 19
FUCK YOU, PROTOCOLS. WE DIDN’T WRITE THAT.
STILL THINKING. CHECK BACK.
The Shoah · October 19
NO FUCKING LESSON.
STILL THINKING LIKE JEWS.
NOW WE HAVE JETS.
October 19
Chapters are released as they are written. The schedule can change at any time and without notice. You are buying the complete work, not a delivery date.